It's Going to Be Ok!
Remember, when Overwhelmed, Break it Down.
Significant trials and tribulations can often feel overwhelming, making us feel out of our depth and hopeless. Neither is true.
Breakdown what Feels like Too Much:
It's important to keep breaking everything we need to do or what is distressing us into smaller, more manageable tasks or naming what is upsetting us until it feels possible to work through the overwhelming situation or emotional upheaval.
First and foremost, we need to be kind to ourselves. It's also beneficial to list the safe people, organisations, and activities that can support us through difficult times.
Decide to reach out for appropriate support. We must acknowledge and ask for help with what is too much for us. If someone can't help us or an organisation says no, we keep asking until we find who and what organisation can.
If the first task we need help with is identifying ways to break down what is too much and establish a manageable timeline, that's ok. That's what we reach out for help with.
Focus only on accomplishing one step at a time and celebrate each small victory. How we do this can be meaningfully symbolic, like taking the time to walk in the local gardens, taking a long hot bath, watching something funny, or calling that person who always manages to make us laugh.
Take sufficient rest and recovery breaks before tackling the next step on your timeline.
Breaking down anything or a situation that overwhelms us into manageable steps we can name and pace out makes working constructively through tough times sustainable, providing constant motivation as we progress.
Cultivate Resilience.
Resilience is the ability to bounce back from adversity more robustly than before. Learning that we're capable of things beyond our false self-belief is empowering. Within is everything required to build the bridge to a better life for ourselves. We activate the development of our inner resources and capacity by taking action on the little things in our power at any given time.
For example, even if all we can do is cry. We allow ourselves to cry and name it. I am crying because this upsets me. It hurts because I love a person who doesn't love me back. Each day, I will cry about how I feel rather than bottling it up and do one thing that loves me in the way I would have loved to love that person and be loved by that person in return. Recovering from the devastation of unrequited love and finding mutual love is sustainable when we avoid extremes of over-exertion and utter stagnation and love ourselves how we would like to be loved. If one or ten people reject us, it doesn't mean everyone out of the 8.1 billion populating the earth will reject us.
As a person with invisible disabilities, a neurodivergent brain and abuse during my formative years, learning to love myself and believe that I am lovable and capable of mutual love has been painfully complicated and confronting. I've needed a lot of professional support and had to do a lot of hard work on my relationship with myself.
Developing self-love and establishing a relationship with myself in a way I wanted with a partner has equipped me with resilience, confidence, and self-belief in all areas of my life, not just love.
Embrace Setbacks.
They are opportunities for growth rather than reasons to give up. Learn from mistakes, adapt strategies, and keep pushing forward with renewed determination, confidence and self-worth. Every obstacle we overcome brings us one step closer to our full potential and greater self-awareness. It also equips us with a wealth of practical knowledge and inner resources that better equip us for the rest of our lives.
Seek Support.
No one can do this life alone. It's necessary to engage our support network appropriately during challenging times. Whether it's friends, family, mentors, organisations, colleagues, or people qualified to support us, surrounding ourselves with those who believe in us, our goals, and who we are can provide the encouragement and perspective needed to persevere.
Sharing struggles with others lightens the burden and strengthens our resolve to keep moving forward. No one genuinely worth having in our life will ever judge us more than we judge ourselves. They teach us to perceive ourselves with love, confidence and compassion when and where we need it the most.
Visualise Better Days.
Visualisation is a powerful tool for maintaining focus and motivation. We are worth remembering to vividly imagine ourselves achieving our desires, envisioning joy, fulfilment and embracing opportunities.
A vision of the best version of ourselves and life can help us stay committed to what's best for us, especially in adversity, rejection or loss.